1st Posting: My story as a pPROM Queen

I'm starting this blog a little late in my journey, but I do believe it's necessary for all people going through this battle.  I remember when this first happened to me I wanted to read all I could.  There just wasn't much out there--especially for someone who pPROM'ed so early.  Soooooo, let the story begin!

The date was July 17, 2010.  I was 13+5 weeks pregnant and was actually feeling pretty good.  I was coming out of the first trimester which is often full of fatigue and nausea.  This was one of the days I had energy so I used it.  Did some laundry, cleaned the house, took my three daughters to the library, surprised them with a stop at the ice-cream shop.  Then I came home and mowed the lawn.  When my husband came home from work, we ate supper and then the whole family hung out in the livingroom.  We were all in a good mood.  After a bit, I excused myself to finish folding the laundry I had begun earlier.  That's where the nightmare began. 

Out of nowhere, a huge gush of fluid went down my legs and all over the floor.  I started crying instantly.  I knew what had happened.  My water broke!  Instantly I thought this would be the end.  Why in the world would my water break this early otherwise????  In moments we were in the car, speeding to the hospital not knowing what would happen.  There was a point where I coughed and felt another horrible gush.  Things were not good.

To make a long story short, my husband and I walked into that emergency room believing our child had died.  Amazingly, an ultrasound told us otherwise.  The heart was beating strong.  Still, our doctor stated with no ambiotic fluid, a miscarriage was inevitable and offered to terminate the pregnancy.  My husband and I knew as long as there was a heart beat, it was not our place to decide the baby's fate.  After a night of observation at the hospital, I was sent home.  We were told the baby would miscarry within the next 72 hours.

Well, 72 hours turned into days, days into weeks, and weeks into months.  I am now 26+3 days pregnant with this little one.  The journey has not been easy.  The first several weeks the option of termination was presented to us numerous times.  There was no advice given to me by my doctor on what to do to increase the baby's chances.  I know now it's because of inexperience on her part.  They say pPROM happens only in 1% of pregnancies.  Most doctors never experience this!  Chris and I searched in vain for websites about my condition.  It wasn't until I stumbled upon the http://www.kanalen.org/prom/ that we had something to hope for.  If you are experiencing pPROM, please go to this website if  you haven't already.  The format is wonderful--full of stories and step by step guides of what to do.  This was the advice I used.   

The first couple of weeks were definitely the most difficult.  Bedrest was advised.  To go from a fully-functioning mommy, to a person only allowed to shuffle from bed to couch to bathroom was like taking my life away.  Not being able to tuck in my kids each night, or nurse them when they were sick hurt my heart to no end.  Watching my husband work a 13 hour day and come home to do the MY jobs me made me feel guilty.  I was sacrificing my life for  this one little being inside me.  It was a challenge for me and a challenge for my entire family.  They say God doesn't give you what you can't handle.  I guess God felt we were up for a fight!

I was on bedrest for 10 weeks before I was admitted to the hospital.  During that time, I saw the doctor twice a week for about a month, and then once a week since I was stable.  The doctor would test me for infection, take my vitals, and check the baby's heartbeat.  I saw a perinatologist twice for in depth ultrasounds.  These trips always proved to do nothing but make my husband and I miserable.  There was never any measurable amniotic fluid and the specialist just went down the line of what could possibly go wrong with this baby.  We knew she was obligated to do this; however, some of her side remarks we very negative, uncaring, and uncalled for.  At our 20 week ultrasound, the baby's heart appeared to take up much of his chest cavity and his stomach was larger in size (often called a bell-shaped chest).  We were told then that the lungs didn't look like they were developing so "why even bother trying?"  Can you imagine!!!??  At our next OB appointment, Chris and I expressed our concern about this and that's when our doctor assured us she would do everything possible to give this baby a chance.  That's all we wanted to hear.  We opted not to see the specialist again.  Our respect for our OB grew that day as well.

At 24 weeks, October 1st, I was admitted into the hospital.  I cannot tell you how nervous I was for this transition.  I don't think I had a good night's sleep the whole week before!  The sacrifices continued.  I had to leave my family and my home.  My husband became a single parent and my girls had to learn to be without their mother.  At this point, it's been a little over two weeks.  We are managing.  

In the hospital, I am definitely able to rest better.  I still leak everyday, several times.  Sometimes a gush, sometimes a trickle.  Still, it's not as much as when I was at home.  My baby is monitored for an hour every four hours around the clock.  This has lead to sleep deprivation, but it's totally worth it.  Hearing baby's heartbeat is very consoling.  Knowing if a problem arises and people are here to help also provides security.  I was also given steroid injections when I first got here.  This will help the baby's lungs develop should I go into labor any time soon BUT only if there are substantial lungs to work with.  Amniotic fluid helps create the baby's lungs.  Since my fluid is low, we do not know what the baby has.  We're still giving it our all though.

My family and I still have a long way to go.  The outcome is unknown, but we are giving it our best shot.  Whatever happens we'll take heart in that.  

I'm hoping this blog will help others going through this.  Whatever my outcome is, you should NOT give up hope.  What we're going through is rare.  The doctors can quote statistics, but when it comes down to it, they have no clue.  

I also want to take this time to thank all of those who have been so kind to us.  Since this has happened, we have received an outpouring of support from friends, family, and even strangers.  There are so many good people in this world.  This situation has proved that to me, my husband, and my daughters.  Even if we can never thank you personally, know your words and actions have been appreciated.