I'm 27+1 weeks today. It's getting to the point where I'm totally amazed I've gotten this far. It hasn't been a walk in the park, but it's been okay. Definitely easier than those first couple of weeks where life changed so quickly. Soooo glad to be past that point!
Since I'm in the hospital, the staff supervisor arranged something called a "care conference" for me yesterday. It's a meeting where my OB, a doctor from the NICU, some nurses, and other various staff meet to discuss the details of my pregnancy and course of action once delivery takes place. Chris was able to take off of work for this meeting and I was so thankful for that. He needed to be there as much as I did.
There were a lot of things we discussed that were a bit difficult. In this situation you have to be realistic and know one outcome is as likely as another. The thing that really bothered me though was the definitive nature of the doctors' statements. Chris and I were told things like, "Since your baby has no fluid, this WILL happen." and it wasn't good. I do understand that is a possibility, but why can't there be just a pinch of hope? Why couldn't it be said that "Such and such may happen, but you've gotten this far, so who knows?" At times I can't help to feel like these doctors are just humoring me. Like they know the end of the story but are letting me foolishly believe in some fairy tale ending. Ticks me off.
What I'm going through is rare. There aren't a lot of studies out there, but the few I've seen are WEAK. There aren't a lot of subjects to get stats from. The focus groups consist of laughably low numbers, like 20 or 15 women. That's why it floors me when these doctors seem so certain. I do know bad things can happen, but for every bad outcome I can show you at least one good one! I know of two women, right off the top of my head, that had their waters rupture around 14 weeks. One of them never had any measurable fluid. She has a baby girl at home with her. The other had no measurable fluid until 24 weeks. Her little boy is seven! To claim there is no chance is ridiculous. I do respect these doctors, but they have to learn to see each person as an individual, instead of constantly grouping us into categories.
There are women out there who are fighting for pPROM awareness. I thank you. Hopefully in time, the word will get out that having this happen to you can still lead to a happy outcome.
I'm on my way to 28 weeks. Day by day. pPROMer's, baby and I will keep fighting this fight. I don't know what the future will bring, but if we can't show these doctors, you can! Don't give up HOPE. Keep truckin'!!! 10-4 good buddy, over and out!!!
It must be really hard to keep moral up, but don't let the nay-sayers get to you. I don't have your experience, but the one thing that helps me relate a little is when I was 10 weeks pregnant with JP and started bleeding heavily, as if I had my period. I went to the ER, and the doctor and nurses just shook their heads and said it looked like a miscarriage, but they'd do an ultrasound to make sure. Well, in the ultrasound, the baby's heart was beating, and JP is 8 years old now.
ReplyDeleteI suppose they always want you to be prepared for the worst, and they want to cover their own butts too, in this sue-happy society. But as you know, the bottom line is they do not control the outcome of this, it's in God's hands, and he has pulled off miracle babies many a time.